at
Eeyore's Thistle Patchat
Eeyore's Thistle Patch "Oh, the Bad Man. Last time I saw him he was
across the street having an argument...with a squirrel. Need I tell you whose
side I was on?"
Pauline from "Cosby," repeat date 7-21-1999
"Squirrels are just rats with good P.R."
Mike Flaherty from "Spin City"
"Whenever a Very Bouncy Animal arrives in the
Forest, and you are told that he has just come, the thing you should ask is:
'When is he going?'"
Eeyore from "Eeyore's gloomy Little Instruction Book" by A. A. Milne
"Amazingly enough, there are very few things
you can do when a squirrel has attached itself to your head which aren't rather
stupid."
Sombrero Boy from "Public Enemy
Numero Uno: Chuckles 'The Wonder Squirrel'"
"A dog sled is - follow me carefully here -
a sled pulled by dogs. And if you think dogs are not strong enough to pull a
sled, then you have never been walking a dog when a squirrel ran past. Even
a small dog in this situation will generate one of the most powerful forces
known to modern science. In some squirrel-infested areas, it is not at all unusual
to see a frantically barking dog racing down the street, wearing a leash attached
to a bouncing, detached arm."
from
"Recreational
Winter Sports You Can Do Sitting Down:
Idaho -- More Fun than Dog Weewee"
The Bad Thing About Squirrels:
The Bible has nothing good to say about squirrels...They have been known to
ravish innocent hairpieces...They have never been featured in an Oscar-winning
film...They mate in trees without a thought to the repurcussions...ASC-members
swear they smoke hemp...They eat with their elbows on the table...They belch...They
do things with their noses unmentionable in polite society...They curse...
*What
every squirrel wants you to know --
Wouldn't you have to be ill to begin with? I mean, eat
(squirrel) brains?!?
I repeat -- Wouldn't you have to be ill to begin with?
On his refrigerator at dog's eye level,
Dad has placed an archery
target of a squirrel upon which he has scrawled "Public Enemy Number One."
Just between you and me, though, one time "Generic Red Dawg" Penny caught a
squirrel and Dad cried like anything.
Still, I think a mind just like his own is behind Scary
Squirrel World which contains such topics as: ARE SQUIRRELS TELEPATHIC?;
ARE THERE SQUIRRELS IN HEAVEN?; SQUIRRELS TAKEOVER CAMPUS; VACATIONER'S BEWARE!;
SQUIRRELS ON WELFARE; and, DEAD SQUIRREL GALLERY (It's a scream! Attention:
Pecan growers -- don't miss it.)
All in all, this guy pretty much says it all
regarding the 
squirrels'
opinion of Daddy and the Anti-Squirrel Coalition, if you get my drift.
Daddy has tried everything to try to keep Squirrel Squat Squads from grabbing his nuts, but to no avail.
Alaskan
Squirrelly Gets a Swirly
by Sheri Kongorski-Denny
Why
did the squirrel jump the electrical-pole transformer?
Burgoo
Gourmand's The Night Before Christmas
Did
you hear about the Burgoo Gourmand who...?
The
CIA won't admit it, but, aberrations known as Don King and Cosmo Kramer are
actually the product of the Squirrel Squat Squads scheme to take over the other
50% of Congress.
Squirrels run 84% of national and local government worldwide. Skeptical? What
other explanation can there be?
Squirrels run 42% of national and local media. Skeptical?
What other explanation can there be?
What's this you say?! Daddy is just full of bluster and if
he found out Mom hadn't filled the squirrel feeder he'd sneak out there to make
sure they had food? And if he was caught at it, he'd say he was just trying
to stuff the squirrels so they'd leave his nuts alone? No! It's perposterous!
No!
Really?
Thanks fer noticin' me, but no matter...leave.
"I'm telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they
say, 'It's only Eeyore, so it doesn't count.'" -- Eeyore, from The House
at Pooh Corner
