LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood
DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time
PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time
WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's blak fly season
BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the munchie bag
MODEM: Whacha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys
SOFTWARE Them dang plastic forks and knifs
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf
ENTER: Yankee talk fer, C'Mon in Y'all
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks
MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.

Top ten ways by which you can tell if a redneck has worked on your computer:

10. The monitor is up on blocks
9. Out-going faxes have tobacco stains on them
8. Six front keys have rotten out
7. Extra RAM slot has a Dodge part in it
6. Numeric keypad only goes up to 6
5. The password is 'bubba'
4. a gun rack is mounted on the CPU
3. A skoal can is the CD drive
2. The key board is camoflaged
and the number 1 way you can tell if a redneck has worked on your computer:
the mouse is now called a critter.......

Thanks fer noticin' me, but no matter...leave. "I'm telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they say, 'It's only Eeyore, so it doesn't count.'" -- Eeyore, from The House at Pooh Corner