Do YOU have a better explanation for the following headlines?:
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Thanks fer noticin' me, but no matter...leave. "I'm telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they say, 'It's only Eeyore, so it doesn't count.'" -- Eeyore, from The House at Pooh Corner 
