LuAnn's Martha Stewart ExorcismA Martha Stewart Exorcism

  Animation by C Weis

OUT Martha.
Get thee behind me.
Out, out out.
IN, dust bunnies and packages of pre-shredded cheese.
OUT Martha.
IN, vacuuming twice a month whether the carpet has changed into the color of cat hair or not.
OUT, Martha.
OUT any recipe calling for hand-churned butter and cilantro.
IN Pizza Hut delivery.
OUT Martha.
IN, children's clothes from Wal-Mart. IN, packages of swim diapers.
IN, containers of margarine on the table.
OUT, Martha and hand-hewn marble driveways and linen toilet covers.
IN, big bare patches in the lawn because of wading pools.
OUT, OUT, Martha.
OUT with hand-arranged centerpieces of orchids from the greenhouse built out of totally organic material.
IN, Mason jars full of dandelions.
OUT, Martha, out out out into outer darkness.

Lu
June 9, 1998

Sometimes there are things that are more important to have been done.
IN mason jars of dandelions.

Sometimes there are things that are more important to have been done.
Sometimes there are things that are more important to have been done,
than to have been done EXACTLY the way you think they should have been.

A pithy incantation by Melody, June 17, 1998

Sometimes there are things that are more important to have been done.
IN Erma: Martha's letter to Erma Bombeck and Erma Bombeck's letter to Martha

Sometimes there are things that are more important to have been done.
Unblinded-by-the-Powers-of-Darkness Martha Stewart Links

Marthaborg:  JPG assimilation by C WeisThe Martha Stewart Collection...er, Collective. Resistance is futile.

15 Secret Shortcuts to Good Housekeeping that Martha will never tell you


Perhaps Martha is a very elaborate Muppet
controlled by Jim Henson.
Sure, Henson was reported to have died several years back. But wasn't that just around the time that Martha began to come into her own?
Isn't it true that during her television segments we rarely see the legs of Martha Stewart, because she's often standing behind some counter?



We hope you enjoy your visit. Animation by C Weis

 

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