The Party at the End of the Semester
an expurgated history by the Domestic Web Goddess
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of K---- lay small unregarded
Southwestern Adventist College (now University).
Within its orbit was an utterly insignificant little student computer center
whose...student life forms who were so amazingly primitive that they thought
BTI 8000s were a pretty neat computer system.
These students had a problem, which was this: most of the semester they had
to study their brains out pretty much of the time. Much of the problem was largely
concerned with the movements of 8.5 X 11 pieces of paper with large letters
from A to F written in red at their tops. Many solutions were suggested for
this problem, but most of these concerned either studying more brains out than
they actually had or sitting on top of Heritage Hall with an uzi and picking
professors off as they crossed campus.
And so the problem remained; lots of the students were tired, and most of
them could no longer function, even the ones who could find an available BTI
8000 terminal...
...And then, one Thursday, nearly three months after registration, a girl
sitting on her own in the cafeteria suddenly realized that finals were over,
and she finally knew how the "Disaster Area" faction of the student body could
make good grades, have a social life, stay healthy, AND stay mentally fit. This
time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to sit on top of Heritage
Hall with an uzi and pick professors off as they crossed campus.
Sadly, however, before she could get to a BTI 8000 terminal to tell anyone
about it, she choked on Mrs. Simpson's Nuteena loaf, and the idea was lost forever.
This is not her webpage.
But it is the webpage of the consequences of that terrible, stupid Nuteena
loaf.
It is also one of the webpages of a band of merry students, a group called
"Disaster Area" from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" book series -- not
a Vogsphere book, never published on Vogsphere, and until the terrible Nuteena
loaf death occurred, never seen or even heard of by any Vogspherian.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable webpage of a wholly remarkable group, who
in their campus days made both the Dean's List and the black list, and partied
despite the long-ago departure of mental health.
First, they work cheaper; and second, most of them have had to turn in a term
paper to Dr. Andrew Pryce Woolley...
And so it was that they entered into a Parties at the Ends of the Semesters...
Mere words cannot convey the carnage. The pictures must speak for themselves...
Epilogue:
In many of the more relaxed groups in the Outer Eastern Rim of Southwestern's
alumni, Disaster Area has already supplanted the great Animaniacs as the standard
for zany, totally insaney behavior, for though they have many well-behaved members
and contain geniuses and/or doctoral candidates, and some who at least managed
to pass their driver's license tests, they surpass the cartoon characters in
two important respects:
Kym/Roo?Penelope? and Kendall/Zaphod -- January 1987.
Kendall/Zaphod,
David/Marvy Baby, Eric, Domestic Web Goddess/Galadriel, Wes/Sauron, Norbert/Rex
-- May 25, 1985
Wes/Sauron,
David/Marvy Baby, and Yvette/"?" play Charlie Brown football, summer 1985
Wes/Sauron,
Domestic Web Goddess/Galadriel. Please note the infamous rings. -- December
1985
The
theme for this December 1985 party was "Come dressed as your e-mailname." And,
no, the domestic web goddess's e-mail name was not 'Fubsy-faced-girl-trying-to-look-sultry.'
It was 'Galadriel.' But she changed it the next year to 'Fubsy.' This
is 'Fubsy-faced-girl-trying-to-look-sultry.'
Bill/Slartibartfast,
Brenda, Arnold, Nora, Wes/Sauron, Kendall/Zaphod, Pam Schnell-Gilley, Erik/HairlessOne,
Dorie/Gertrude, Bret/-the-Brat-the-Brute, T'resa, LuAnn/Dreamer, Kevin, Steve
Brain/Stephen Ray Brian -- December 1986
LuAnn,
Frankie, and T'resa -- December 1986; Little known fact...the answer to every
stupefying Trivial Pursuit question is..."Frankie did it."
Julie/Kilroy,
David/Marvy Baby, Domestic Web Goddess/Galadriel: OK. Who's who? One juggles
twins and sorta named one twin after one of the other two pictured here. One
writes the MENSA newsletter. One is going to be a millionaire if that one isn't
one already.
Jon Herrell/Frobozz, Brandeis Hall/"?", Kendall Brown/Zaphod, Kevin Wells/"?",
and T'resa Noodel-Weaver/"?" -- January 1987.
~Some DA members married other DA members and spawned.
Sample Spawn One -- Venden-Herrell
Sample Spawn Twain -- Cummings-Weis
Sample Spawn Three
-- Snow-Hines
~The BTI 8000, serviced by many of the DA members and known to all as Trixie,
was replaced. In her memory DA members and SAC computer-geeks funded the Trixie-Pearl
Scholarship at SAC/SWAU.
~Founding DA member Wes Stoops shuffled off our
mortal coil too young. So that his name would never be forgotten at SAC/SWAU,
the Domestic Web Goddess organized, and DA members funded most of, the Wes Stoops
Memorial Scholarship at the educational institute into whose fountain Wes respectfully
deposited Tidy-Bol every Halloween.
~Disaster-Area.org -- Amazon.com
purchases through the D.A. link benefit the Wes Stoops Memorial Scholarship
~The Domestic Web Goddess vainly attempted to get Dilbert creator Scott Adams to contribute a tax-deductible $1 to the Wes Stoops Memorial Scholarship, just so it would appear on the records that Scott Adams had made a donation. If your name is Scott/Scot Adams or Scot/Scott Adam (Dilbert creator or not), would you please donate a tax-deductible $1? Wes would love it! Contact Bev Mendenhall at Southwestern Adventist University.~Mage created a cyber space domain for our motley krewe -- http://www.disaster-area.org/
A Searchable database of the Douglas Adams Hitchhiker books
The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe and Everything
So Long and Thanks for All the Fish
Mostly Harmless (Hitchhiker's Trilogy, No 5)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1993) VHS video
Astronomy
Picture of the Day Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph
of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written
by a professional astronomer.
Phriday Knight Filosophy Phodder
A Calvin & Hobbes Page for Darren Slider
Click on the notes
to hear the theme song, or click here for an Animaniacs website
The Meaning Of
Life "Galaxy Song"
a tribute to kendall. it
was a tangled, hairy job, but somebody had to do it.
Looney Camelot -- a
Monty Python & the Holy Grail page
A
Certain Hitchhiker's Guide to Paris
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
by Douglas Adams
(a shamelessly, yet unapologetic, expurgated version [see Gannetts])
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end
of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly nintey-eight million miles is an utterly
insignificant little blue-green planet whose...life forms are so amazingly primitive
that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
This planet has-or rather had-a problem, which was this: most of the people
living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested
for this problem, but most of these were largely concrened with the movements
of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't
the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them
were miserable, even the ones with digital watches...
...And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been
nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a
change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly
realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally
knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right,
it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.
Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a
terrible, stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.
This is not her story.
But it is the story of that terrible, stupid catastrophe and some of its consequences.
It is also the story of a book, a book called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy" -- not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible
catastrophe occurred, never seen or even heard of by any Earthman.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.
In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the
Galaxy, the Hitchhiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia
Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though
it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly
inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important
respects.
First, it is slightly cheaper; and second, it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed
in large friendly letters on its cover...
